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WOW IM UPDATING SO ROCK ON!!!!!! - HRH PRINCE HARRY'S ADVICE COLUMN

About WOW IM UPDATING SO ROCK ON!!!!!!

Previous Entry WOW IM UPDATING SO ROCK ON!!!!!! Dec. 5th, 2004 @ 10:52 pm Next Entry
HELLO LUVS THIS IS YOUR ESTEEMED PRINCE HARRY WITH ANOTHER ROUND OF PATHETIC COMMONERS LOOKING FOR MY SUPERIOR ADVICE!

ALSO PLZ BE INFORMED TAHT IF U WANT 2 ASK A QUESTION YOU NEED TO JOIN THE COMMUNITY BCUZ I CAN'T BE EXPECTED TO LET YOU BLOODY GITS KNOW WHEN I ANSWER YOUR SAD QUERIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dear your roayl seXiNEss,
I have like been so toally like uma fan om urz for liek so longz and stuff. And I just like os totally want top bone you and stuff so very very mucha dnwant to dress us up like prince and princess but i would like be the prince and oyud be the princess cause im like a hairy big dude and youre like, a 12 yearold prepubescentboy and stuff but either wya I want to know, spit or swallow?



OMG WTF?! LISTEN BLOKE I'M NOT INTO THAT SORT OF THING. YOU'D NEED TO CONTACT MY BROTHER SIR FAGSALOT IF YOU WANT TO RIM SOMEONE. I LIKE A JOLLY GOOD SLAG WHOLL LET ME SHAG THEM ON A TENNIS COURT.

BTW SWALLOW.


Dear Harry.


I have a terrible dilemma. I am filled with compassion by the sight of starving Africans in Darfur on the telly. Therefore I want to support the wonderful cause that is Band Aid.

However, the new Band Aid single sucks great big donkey balls and just a single listen to it makes me want to slice myself in half with a breadknife.

Should I buy the Band Aid single, and save those poor Africans from terrible suffering, or not buy it, and save myself from equally terrible suffering?

Sincerely

Phil



WELL PHILLIAM THIS IS INDEED A ROUGH DILEMMA, MUCH LIKE MELON WITH HOLE VS. PHEASANT. HOWEVER I CAN HELP YOU USING A BIT OF THE OLD LOGIC.

LOGIC DICTATES THAT YOU SHOULD BUY IT NYWAYS BCUZ LORD KNOWS IF THE SINGLE IS THAT BAD THEN THE PEASANTRY WILL NEED ALL THE HELP THEY CAN GET. THIS REMINDS ME OF THE TIME THAT MUMMY WENT TO VISIT SOME DIRTY PEOPLE AND TRIED TO MAKE ME GIVE THEM MY HAT AND I WAS LIKE "BUT MUM THIS HAT MAKES ME LOOK BLOODY KEEN!" AND SHES ALL "HARRY DARLING SOME PEOPLE HAVE NO HATS AND WE MUST HELP THEM!!!!!" SO I GAVE THEM MY HAT. IT WAS A GREAT AND MIGHTY SACRIFICE THAT WE SHOULD ALL ASPIRE TO REPLICATE.

THEN WILLS GOT RICKETS HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA WELL NOT REALLY.


Dear Harry,

What is with these punk ass kids and Band Aid? Don't they know it only makes things worse?

By the way, I've started my own charity to help out the African rugrats. Send large cheques to Ashley, Dunny-on-the-Wold, Limeyland, plznthnx.




THAT REMINDS ME OF THIS STORY ABOUT A HAT I ONCE HAD BUT IM NOT SYAING IT AGAIN BCUZ I'M A PRINCE AND I DON'T HAVE TO SAY BOLLOCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NEWAYZ YOU OUGHT TO SEND THOSE CHECKS ON TO ME. A MILLION POUNDS PER ANNUM DOESN'T PAY FOR ALL THE SLAG0SHAGGING.


Dear Harry,
When making red play-dough, how much red food colouring is too much red food colouring?
- Desperate for some action in Acton
P.S. I'm not wearing any underwear.




HEY IM NOT WEARING ANY UNDERWEAR EITHER LUV!!!!!!!!!!! LETS GET PISSED AND HAVE AN AWKWARD GROPEFEST UNDER THE MULBERRY BUSH BY THE PRIMARY SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM ACTUALLY CONSIDERING WEARING A KILT SO'S I CAN IMPREGNATE A QUEEN BUT IM NOT REALLY ATTRACTED TO GRAM.

P.S.- 85 mL


WELL THATS ALL FOR NOW PEASANTS!!!!!!!! ASK ME MOR QUESTIONS AND I WILL USE MY FABULOUS PRINCELY WISDOM TO SOLVE YOUR UGLY PROBLERMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



By the grace of God,
I am H.R.H. Prince Harry and I approve this message OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Leave a comment
From:spiritof1976
Date:December 6th, 2004 04:42 am (UTC)
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Thanks for your advice, Prince Pisshead. In return, here's a couple of 2 litre bottles of blue WKD for you to get wazzed on this evening.
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From:lolitalolita
Date:December 6th, 2004 07:28 am (UTC)
(Link)
AHA! I knew is was Deborah who mentioned Acton! Dirty, smelly, backward place. Milton's Shelbyville.
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