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SIGN UP HERE LADS! - HRH PRINCE HARRY'S ADVICE COLUMN

About SIGN UP HERE LADS!

SIGN UP HERE LADS! Oct. 27th, 2004 @ 10:47 pm Next Entry
HELLO MATES THIS IS HIS ROYAL HIGHNESS PRINCE HARRY! WELCOME TO MY ADVICE COMLUMN AND PSYCHIC HOTLINE! I WILL USE MY POWERS OF PRINCE-NESS AND PSYCHIC-NESS TO LEAD THE PEOPLE AND PROVIDE YOU ALL WITH ADVICE!

PLZ LEAVE A COMMENT IF YOU WOULD LIEK TO BE ADVICED!!!!!!!!!!!

Rulz:

1. NO FATTIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! well some are ok but for goshers plz dont eatmy livejournal.

2. NO BITING


OK HAVE FUN LADS!
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From:amadruadaboleyn
Date:October 27th, 2004 07:50 pm (UTC)
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Dear Yuor Highness,

I ahve really big boobs. It's simply terrible. I kind of want reductive surgery, but my boyfriend would lose all faith in God. WHat do I do?! PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!

Sincerely,
Anna
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From:atamagaitai
Date:October 27th, 2004 08:02 pm (UTC)
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Dear Harry,

A friend of mine recently started an LJ community giving advice from a certain member of the royal family. Anyhow, the idea is amusing but she's getting really annoying right now bugging me to post a question. What should I do?

-Svestovar Fung
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From:lucyjupiter
Date:October 27th, 2004 08:55 pm (UTC)
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I want to join plz!
From:hrh_advice
Date:October 27th, 2004 09:23 pm (UTC)
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OKAY LUV BUTS WHATS YER BLOODY QUESTION?
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From:slutbodan69
Date:October 27th, 2004 10:14 pm (UTC)
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Oops. I joined the community rather than just adding it so now I can, like, post here. But I promise not to. Because I'm not of royal blood.
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From:slutbodan69
Date:October 27th, 2004 10:46 pm (UTC)
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There. I, erm, solved my own problem. Go me.
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From:slutbodan69
Date:October 27th, 2004 11:20 pm (UTC)
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Dear Harry,

I'm a high school junior with a high GPA and many friends, yet I still wet my bed at night. What will happen when I choose to become sexually active?

Canonically Babbling in Peed-Onk,
LeBron
From:(Anonymous)
Date:October 28th, 2004 02:55 am (UTC)
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dear princ eharry,

everoyne wants me to get a livejournal, but i tihnk they're dumb. what should I tell my friends the next time they bitch at me about it?

--m
From:(Anonymous)
Date:October 28th, 2004 03:00 am (UTC)
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Your Royal Highness,

I recently moved to London and I want to marry your brother and have fabulous sex in all of the royal palaces. But, he's still in Scotland and I'm here and I'm horny.

What should I do? Are there actual men in London who aren't gay or suffering from extremely bad dental hygiene?

Yours,
The She-Wolf of London (vicky)
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From:slutbodan69
Date:October 28th, 2004 11:16 am (UTC)
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Dear Harry,

Whenever I bludgeon homeless people to death, I somehow manage to get nasty bloodstains on my silk tunic. They are nearly impossible to get out! HELP!

yours respectfully,
Ludvik Jahn
From:sidekicknomore
Date:October 28th, 2004 02:44 pm (UTC)
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Dear Harry,

Can we Snog? Now? Can your brother join in?

Love you,
Allison
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From:lolitalolita
Date:November 2nd, 2004 05:45 am (UTC)
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dEaR hArRy!!!! (wot iz hrh? HarRy... wots ur last nam?)

i n33d some advice plznthnx so anser this!!!! i'm in a love triangle at my school! some ugly boi likes me but i dont like him (he smells like patchouli) BUTTTTT ilike this OTHER(!!) boi, but i think he's gay(!!!!OMFG whos gay???) and likez the first boi (the patchouli 1 who also has LOTTZ of spots or whatevah u limeys call ZITS!!!)
so my queston iz... HOW can i kill them both so thell never be happy 2gether?????

xXoO
aShLeY!!!!! ~~:P~~

ps (the 2nd 1 iz GAY!!!!!!!!!!!!)

u no it, EMILY! YAH MA BITTCIZZZZ!!!



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From:slutbodan69
Date:November 17th, 2004 08:26 pm (UTC)
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Dear Anna,

Thanks for a good time.

XOXO

Flurry

P.S. You are now carrying my child.
From:xeniusascendant
Date:November 23rd, 2004 10:18 am (UTC)
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Dear your roayl seXiNEss,
I have like been so toally like uma fan om urz for liek so longz and stuff. And I just like os totally want top bone you and stuff so very very mucha dnwant to dress us up like prince and princess but i would like be the prince and oyud be the princess cause im like a hairy big dude and youre like, a 12 yearold prepubescentboy and stuff but either wya I want to know, spit or swallow?
From:spiritof1976
Date:November 23rd, 2004 01:04 pm (UTC)
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Dear Harry.


I have a terrible dilemma. I am filled with compassion by the sight of starving Africans in Darfur on the telly. Therefore I want to support the wonderful cause that is Band Aid.

However, the new Band Aid single sucks great big donkey balls and just a single listen to it makes me want to slice myself in half with a breadknife.

Should I buy the Band Aid single, and save those poor Africans from terrible suffering, or not buy it, and save myself from equally terrible suffering?

Sincerely

Phil
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From:lolitalolita
Date:November 24th, 2004 05:43 pm (UTC)
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Dear Harry,

What is with these punk ass kids and Band Aid? Don't they know it only makes things worse?

By the way, I've started my own charity to help out the African rugrats. Send large cheques to Ashley, Dunny-on-the-Wold, Limeyland, plznthnx.
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From:slutbodan69
Date:November 24th, 2004 07:48 pm (UTC)
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Dear Harry,
When making red play-dough, how much red food colouring is too much red food colouring?
- Desperate for some action in Acton
P.S. I'm not wearing any underwear.
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From:lolitalolita
Date:December 16th, 2004 08:01 am (UTC)
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Dear Harry,

I'm an anarchist/communist/Nazi who practices with the Hare Krishna. My friends don't understand me, and are constantly making sly, snarky comments like "Why don't you SHARE your cookies, commie!" or "Come see a movie, if you can spare a minute from killing the Jews!" or "Quit with the tamborine racket!", you know, subtle stuff. It's really unfair, especially since Hitler, Stalin, and Moritz taught us to love one another unconditionally.

I guess my question is, should I tell them I'm carrying the New Democratic Party's love child or would that just make things worse?

Thanks,

LaSeanDa
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From:slutbodan69
Date:December 16th, 2004 10:49 am (UTC)
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Cher Harry,
Mon amour pour vous est si fort qu'il puisse seulement être donné en français, la langue de l'amour. Par cet altavista traduisant le service. Je veux au va te faire foutre, prince Harry. Et alors je veux manger votre foie. Mais pas vraiment. Veuillez venir à ma maison la nuit, parce que à moi vous montrerez ce qu'est vraiment la virilité. Couteaux.
Amour,
Oleg Menschikov
From:spiritof1976
Date:December 22nd, 2004 03:06 am (UTC)
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Dear Harry

I heard some rumours the other day that the idomitable spirit of the proletarian masses will cause them to rise up and drench the streets with the blood of the capitalist pig-dogs and the aristocratic parasites, while sending their bourgeois lackeys to be re-educated in giant camps on the Isle of Man.

What do you think of these rumours? Is there any truth to them? If so, what would be the best outfit to wear for such an event?

With comradely greetings

Phil
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From:hollys_follies
Date:December 23rd, 2004 08:08 pm (UTC)

What should I ask?

(Link)
I cant think of anything to ask! But this is very funny! You are naughty!
So my question to you is, what should I ask you?

Holly (Hoshi) ^_^
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From:hollys_follies
Date:December 23rd, 2004 08:49 pm (UTC)

I've thought of one!

(Link)
I have thought of a question. Actually many questions!
I can't understand all of what you are saying for advice.
What are the meanings of these words you used? Are they all British? I've never seen any of them that I can remember.

PONCY, RAGU, MARINARA SAUCE, BLUDGEONING, PONCE, CANDIED HIS TROUSERS, PATCHOULI, WANKER, GOBSMACKED, MZTRBTE, Treacle, diorama.

Thank you Harry!
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From:slutbodan69
Date:December 24th, 2004 10:52 am (UTC)
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Dear Harry,

My attempts at organizing a Civil War-themed modern dance production invariably end in heartbreak. Also, I have the clap. What should I do?

- Ted Hunter, Cane, NH
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From:hollys_follies
Date:December 27th, 2004 11:42 am (UTC)

^_--

(Link)
Thank you for anwering all my questions! It is fun reading your replies to people! ^_^
I had Ragu and Marinara Sauce on pasta, but I only knew it as "spagettea sauce" and I think it tasted very bad. :-P Too thick and salty. Some of the food in America is strange. Is it better in England? I hear bad things about your food!
So what is your favorite American food?
And do you know how to fix a cd play, or how to make a dog named La-la to do tricks?

PS
Thank you for saying my English is very good! I studied hard to learn it!
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From:pookizegreat
Date:December 28th, 2004 02:46 am (UTC)
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Dear Harry,

My friend and I were wondering: when rubbing the rotting carcass of a dead bird across your genitalia, is it best to disinfect the area before or after use of the carcass? Or perhaps both?

Additionally, give up the lie and go back to Ireland. WE KNOW THE TRUTH, GIDEON.

Bye!
Love from,
Caitlyn & Kelly
From:spiritof1976
Date:January 1st, 2005 10:34 am (UTC)
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Dear Harry

I was out on the lash recently, and some arsehole was giving me grief. I'd had a few beers by that stage, so I had to sort the tosser out and give him a few slaps. Sadly now, it looks like the police take a dim view of it and they might be giving me a criminal caution. I don't want to get a caution as it might bugger up my chances of getting into the Army. Any suggestions on how I can get out of it?

Yours

Barry
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From:lolitalolita
Date:January 1st, 2005 11:47 am (UTC)
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Dear Harry,

First off, I'm not attracted to you in any way, shape or form. No, I'm not a lesbian, I'm just not into the pre-pubescent limey type. Sorry.

My question is this: How can I hook up with your very manly and summertoothy father? I wouldn't mind being the next Queen of England.

-Delirious in Delaware

P.S. I'll help you dispose of Camilla.
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